Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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