Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
