hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sorry about my life...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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