Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
