Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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