pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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