I hate your face
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
