the condom got lost in my hair
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
