Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
