My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Its about making memories worth repressing
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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