I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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