So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
