Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
