there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
