So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
