my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
