Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
