this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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