Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
