Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
