the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
