dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I love you. Go after that dick
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