ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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