dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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