in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I met the friendliest cop last night
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
