He kissed a someone with a penis
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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