I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
