This is not my ceiling
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
