I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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