If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How does it feel to date your dad?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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