i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
