the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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