I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
