You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So vagazzling was a success
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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