Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
