But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
