It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
