I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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