just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
