Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
