The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
