you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
