btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
