i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize