He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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