woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
