hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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