Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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