drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
