It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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